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Thursday, August 27, 2009

ळदूऊऊऊऊ शादी kaa ( ADVERTISEMENT FOR A MARRIAGE)

Some or all contents are copied from some where or other


THE NEED FOR WIFE
DESPERATELY SHUTS THE BRAIN
AND PEOPLE START TO THINK IN THE SAME MANNER WHICH THEY WORK


SO HOW WOULD PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT WORK CULTURE WILL SUM UP THEIR

ADVERTISEMENT FOR MARRIAGE


FISHERMAN

Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish.
Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.


SALESMAN

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine
article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is
now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses!
Has own house, car and successful career!


ECONOMIST

I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements
are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too
heavy a burden upon the national interest.

MATHEMATICIAN

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate
and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further
my family unit.



IT CONSULTANT

Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed
of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and
the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency.
Compatibility could be an issue.



BUSINESS MAN

Wife wanted for company.


POLITICIAN
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live,
to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences
and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to
share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the
social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society
(etc etc and never getting to the point) -----------AND HIS SPEECH CARRIES ON

CAR DEALER
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in
excellent working condition.


FARMER
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.


LAWYER
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the
post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should
be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with
evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be
willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e.
Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be
sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null
and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever.



PILOT

Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed
applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her
feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long
haul. She must be a hanger, where i should hand around, And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!


BANKER

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her
service.


SHAAYAR (POET)

Badi muddat ke baad ek arazoo jagi hai, Ke hum bhi shaadi
shooda ho jaaye, Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka.......... ..... joh
kurrey sarey sarey, Yeah mai butaatah hoon ....... Kyoon key yaroo
ub khud ghar keh kaam hotah nahee sarey sarey.


ACCOUNTANT

Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures.
She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very
nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as
possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit
to her family.


SHARABI (ALCOHOLIC)

Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks
factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends
come round. Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl
preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally in
a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.

MINICAB DRIVER

Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from
x-ud,erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not
necessary, but map reading skills are a bonus.


BEGGAR

Allah ke naam par koi ek biwi de de, Doosre ke nahi to apni
hi de de, Allah terah bhala kare, Tujhe ek ke badle do
de de !


BUILDER

Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be
homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.


DOCTOR

I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However
if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.


ARMY COMMANDO

My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful
applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who
dares wins. Camouflage provided.


RACE CAR DRIVER

A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be
able to keep pace!


ASTRONAUT

I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to
share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!


AND THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST

I HAVE PRINTED

WANTED A BRIDE WHO ENJOYS
CLEANING
WASHING
DRYING
PACKING
ABLE TO HANDLE LOGISTIC

Friday, August 14, 2009

CONVERSATION (TRANSLATED IN ENGLISH)

Me:- One Day i said come along with me
She:- No, no He (Husband) is coming to pick me up
Me:- Then he is taking you out back to home or for a Lunch
She:-Neh, no there is some work.
Me:-How silly, what a rubbish husband you’ve PET. That he never take you out for a Lunch or Dinner
She:-hahahahahaha..............I bring my lunch from his house only
Me:-Oh no You prepared, cooked, kept in the lunch box, carried all along to the office, and ate talking with your colleagues, right? Then tell me where That Duffer (Husband) is in the whole story?
She:-Do not talk rubbish or him (here she shows some affection and respect for her husband) otherwise i’ll hit you hard
Me:-I have not written any abusive word for him, by the way you already have knocked me out
She:- Come here ...............
Me:-No, look now if you’ll be angry with me then who is going to Buzzz (Chatting on internet) everyday; anyways this is rude, you are changing the course of our Conversation, you are trying to divert the topic, I was saying to your Man (husband) he should take you out for lunch & dinner; instead he only take you visit Holy divine places.
He should have had taken you out to Juhu & Chowpati (both places are beaches in Mumbai, India); a bit he would have given Bhelpuri, pawbhaji to you to eat, he should have taken for a joyride or a movie; he would had taken you to Delhi Haat ( a multicultural market in Delhi India)and let you eat some chaat and paani puri, golgaappe, He should have walked on beech holding your hand, and after some time, sit there and put some chocolates in your mouth, holding by his teeth, He should have went in a hill place and Scream your name "[ content & name suppressed in public demand]" and hear the echo of that scream
Did he did all this things?
I Know he has not, and i believe he will never
Whenever He felt like took you to a temple and Rang up the holy bell, as if he wants the god to see –look almighty, see i am doing my part of life to keep my wife happy, and i should keep her happy by taking her to different shrines and holy-divine places, what does he want to show? He does not know god is everywhere even in the sounds which come back as an echo near a hill, or in every grain of the sand lying beneath your feet while walking on a beech?
“THEN SHE SAID”
She:-Do everything with your would be wife, she will be happy, and now i am going He (husband) has come to pick me up
Me:-WAIT, Tell Him (her husband) that you want to have dinner out, then take you to Barista (a coffee shop) and you wanna have a cup of Tea, and mind it Tea means Tea, not coffee and Tomorrow I want to see scanned copy of the Bill for dinner and Tea.



NOTE: From that Day I am Just waiting for the scan copy
ITS JUST A HUMOUR SO PLEASE ENJOY AND GIVE YOUR REVIEW, (BHELPOORI, PAWBHAJI, CHAAT, GOLGAPPE ARE INDIAN FAST FOODS, SOLD ON SMALL MOVING CARTS AT MOST OF THE PLACES).

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

CONVERSATION

Ek din maine kaha , ki chalo mere saath

To inhone kaha ki nahi wo (husband) aayenge aur le jaayenge

Maine Kaha - aur ghar le jaayenge ki lunch pe

inhone kaha - nai nai..kuch kaam hai

Maine Kaha - kaisa bekaar husband paal ke rakha hai ki lunch pe bhi nai le jaata

inhone kaha - hahaa....unke ghar se hi to lunch laati hon...

Maine Kaha - are wo to aap ne banayee, pakayee, utha kar office layee aur khayee ismein wo mardoot kahan hai kahin

inhone kaha - aise mat bolo unke liye, maroongi varna (isko kehte hai pati prem)

Maine Kaha - koi kharab baat nahi likha hai , aise hi maar chuki ho

inhone kaha - yahan aao...

Maine Kaha - nahi kahin aap gussa hogayyee to mujhe phir koun ping karega roz, khair baat ko aapne track se change kar diya jo baat ho rahi thi ussse aapne divert kar diya, bol raha tha Aapke (inke husband) ko ki lunch aur dinner par le jaane ka kewal tirsth staan hi ghooomate rehte hai
Thoda, goa, juhu chowpaati bhi ghoomana tha na?
Thoda bhelpuri; pawbhaaji bhi khilana tha na?
Thoda joyride, movie bhi dikhlana tha na?
Delhi haat le jaa kar paani poori,golgappe aur chaat bhi khilaana tha Na?
Thoda beech par haanth pakad kar door tak chalna tha na?
Thodaapne daanton se pakad kar choclate ka tukda tumhare muh mein daalna tha na?, Thoda Ship mein chadh kar titanic ka pose bana kar photo kichwana tha na?
Thoda tumhare baalon mein har poornmaas ke din Gulab ka phool lagana tha na?
Thoda apne palkon ko beecha kar uspar tumko chalwana tha na?
Thoda jungle mein ja kar pedon ke peeche ghoom ghoom kar gaana gaana tha na?
Thoda Tumhari kumkum se apne sar par tilak lagana tha na?
Thoda Chaandni raat mein tumhari choodiyon ki khankhanahat ko sunnana tha na?
Thoda ghar ke gate se ghar ke ander tak tumhe apne goad mein utha kar ghar ke ander tak le jaana tha na?
Mehfil mein baith kar tumhare niye koi najm pesh karna tha na?


Thoda


Thoda apne haanthon se Sea beech par baith kar khaana khilana tha na?
Pahadon ke Waadiyon mein jaa kar poore dum se "(Name suppressed)" chilaana tha na?

Ye sab kiya unhone? Main jaanta hoon nahi kiya
JAB DEKHO TO JAA KAR MANDIR KA GHANTA BAJA DIYE
Tab
inhone kaha - tum yeh sab karna..apne hone wali wife ke saath, wo khush ho jaayengi, Aur ab main jaa rahi hoon wo (husband) aa gaye hain mujhe pick karne
Maine Kaha - wo (husband) usko bolna ki aaj dinner karna hai bahar, barista mein chai peeni hai, aur kal bill ka scan copy main dekhne ko maangta hai (barista mein coffee nahi chai peene ka)
To ab Scan copy ka intezaar hai bas
*its a juz humour juz enjoy*