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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Mobile (Cellular Phones) are they a curse or Blessing

Missing my nokia N95 mobile sooooooo much, look that wicked gadjet has had made me so much lazy that i am facing lots of stress searching any phone numbers
and its hard to swich over from one brand of mobile to other
the motorokr EM325 from motorola is completely a different device than the nokia phones
everything is just complicated, now i wonder why Nokia is the most preferred mobile brand in the world.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

शादी के ळदूऊऊऊऊ

कुछ या सभी सामग्री से नकल कर रहे हैं, जहां कुछ या अन्य


पत्नी के लिए की आवश्यकता
बन्द हो जाता है दिमाग
और लोगों को शुरू करने के लिए उसी तरह लगता है जो वे कैसे देंगे लोगों से अलग संस्कृति संक्षेप को उनकी मर्जी के कार्य

शादी के लिए विज्ञापन


मछुआरे

पत्नी चाहती है, हो खुदाई, सफाई, कीड़े और स्वच्छ मछली पकाने में सक्षम होना चाहिए.
मोटर के साथ नाव अवश्य ही है. कृपया मोटरबोट की तस्वीर भेजें.


विक्रेता

एक बार एक जीवनकाल प्रस्ताव में, अपने आप को, मूल वास्तविक पाने के लिए
लेख. सबसे सुंदर और होशियार स्नातक है चारों में से एक है
अब एक पत्नी के लिए देख रहे हैं. और तुम एक भाग्यशाली वह चुनता है हो सकता है!
अपना घर, कार और सफल कॅरिअर क्या!


अर्थशास्त्री

मैं एक पत्नी की मांग में हूँ. आपूर्ति महान है, हालांकि मेरे आवश्यकताओं
उच्च रहे हैं. लेकिन मेरी मांग की लोच भी बर्दाश्त नहीं करना चाहिए
राष्ट्रीय हितों पर भारी बोझ.

गणितज्ञ

पत्नी से मेरे जीवन का फार्मूला पूरा जरूरी है. हो गिनना अवश्य
और समझ परिसर बीजीय logarithms. को मदद की जरूरत है और आगे
मेरे परिवार इकाई.



आईटी सलाहकार

अच्छी तरह से मेरे जीवन में सुधार के लिए निश्चित कमरा है. गति
सूचना के मेरे वर्तमान प्रवाह और प्रक्रियाओं के नीचे चल रही है और
मेरी ज़िंदगी में एक पत्नी के इंजेक्शन कुशलता में सुधार के लिए बाध्य है.
संगतता एक मुद्दा हो सकता है.



बिजनेस व्यक्ति

पत्नी कंपनी के लिए चाहते थे.


राजनीतिक
मुझे लगता है इस दुनिया में एक की आवश्यकता है, पर हम रहते हैं तरीके में सुधार,
जीवन के अनुरूप और प्रक्रियाओं को बनाने के अतीत पर मतभेद
और छोटे comings. मुझे विश्वास है कि हम लोग किसी को जरूरत
हमारे जीवन का हिस्सा. के लिए माता पिता के हुड का आनंद महसूस करता हूँ, और भालू
सामाजिक जिम्मेदारियों को, जैसा कि हम एक सभ्य समाज में होना चाहिए
(आदि आदि और रही बात के लिए) नहीं ----------- और अपने भाषण किया जाता है पर

कार डीलर
एक मजबूत, विश्वसनीय, कम गिरावट पत्नी चाहता था. में होना चाहिए
बहुत अच्छा काम कर हालत.


किसानों
अच्छे स्टॉक से एक पत्नी की तलाश है. Breading के लिए आवश्यक है.


वकील
मैं इसके द्वारा अपने आप के लिए एक योग्य उम्मीदवार के रूप में मांगना प्रस्ताव
पत्नी की शादी के बाद के बाद. जिस व्यक्ति के लिए मैं देख रहा हूँ चाहिए
-कड़ाई से एक लड़की है. लड़की को कड़ाई से एक लड़की के साथ होना चाहिए
सबूत के लिए इस दृष्टिकोण है कि वह एक लड़की है समर्थन करते हैं. लड़की होना चाहिए
इस सेवा और मेरा भगवान अर्थात के अधिकार क्षेत्र को आत्मसमर्पण करने को तैयार
मैं स्वयं. कोई आपत्ति नहीं है और खारिज किया जाएगा नहीं होगा
निरंतर. सभी देयताओं के रूप में सीमित विश्वास में लागू रिक्त हैं
और किसी भी तरह के हमारे हिस्से पर विफलता की स्थिति में शून्य.



पायलट

पत्नी को मेरी जिंदगी पूरी जरूरी है. कृपया केवल अध्यक्षता स्तर
आवेदकों. वह अपने सिर बादलों में नहीं होगा, लेकिन उसके पास
दृढ़ता से जमीन पर पैर. उसके दिल में इसे के लिए होना चाहिए लंबा
ढोना. वह एक कांटा, जहां मैं चारों ओर हाथ चाहिए और वह बिल्कुल भी होना चाहिए aerodynamically ध्वनि हो! होगा!


बैंकर

चाहता था पत्नी ने मुझे में रुचि है और मेरे क्रेडिट के साथ कौन लेता है उसे
सेवा.


SHAAYAR कवि ()

बड़ी muddat के एक arazoo jagi है baad, के भी हम शादी
shooda हो, जाए क्या bahaana शादी karaney .......... का ..... joh
kurrey sarey sarey, ....... हाँ माई butaatah हूँ Kyoon प्रमुख yaroo
यूबी घर keh kaam hotah nahee sarey sarey खुद.


ACCOUNTANT

एक लड़की - आवश्यक 5'8 'एवं' 36 '24 के आंकड़े के लिए एक अच्छा सिर के साथ 36'.
वह अनावश्यक है और खर्च करने के खिलाफ होगी उसे बहुत
प्रकृति के सृजन में से एक कुछ खर्च के रूप में अपने जीवन के रूप में होना चाहिए
संभव है. वह एक अच्छा व्यक्तित्व से लाभ और एक क्रेडिट होना चाहिए
उसके परिवार को.


शराबी शराबी ()

एक लड़की को चाहता था. लड़की के पिता अधिमानतः एक पेय चाहिए
कारखाना. मैं कभी कभी एक शराबी जो पीता हूँ जब दोस्त
आ दौर. दोस्तों के दौर आते ही सात बार एक हफ्ते में. लड़की
पसंदीदा जो मुझे बार घर से उठाने के लिए कर सकते हैं पट्टी. व्यक्तिगत तौर पर बैठक में
परीक्षण के लिए एक बार या भेज पीता है. नमूना पर्याप्त होना चाहिए.

छोटी टेक्सी ड्राइवर

हैलो! हैलो! फोन नंबर 9. यह 9 संख्या मैं से बोल रहा हूँ
x-उद, एर्म एक पत्नी के लिए मुझे लेने की जरूरत है. ड्राइविंग लाइसेंस नहीं
जरूरी है, लेकिन नक्शे पढ़ने कौशल एक बोनस हैं.


भिखारी

अल्लाह के नाम बराबर कोई एक बीवी डी डी, Doosre apni करने के nahi
हाय डी, डी अल्लाह तेरह bhala करे, तुझे एक के badle करना
डी डी!


बिल्डर

एक पत्नी चाहती थी कि मेरे जीवन की नींव पर मदद का निर्माण. चाहिए
घरेलू और जमीन से संबंध बनाने को तैयार है.


डॉक्टर

मैं एक पत्नी के लिए देख रहा हूँ मेरे जीवन में खालीपन का इलाज. फिर भी
यदि आप एक दूसरी राय की जरूरत महसूस हो तो वह मेरे द्वारा ठीक है.


सेना कमांडो

जीवन में मेरा लक्ष्य अपने आप को आदर्श पत्नी को मिल रहा है. सफल
आवेदकों को एक क़लमतराश और एक कंपास का उपयोग सक्षम होना चाहिए. वह कौन
हिम्मत जीतता है. छलावरण प्रदान की है.


रेस कार ड्राइवर

एक आदर्श पत्नी को अपनी तेजी के साथ जीवन में फिट जरूरी है. चाहिए
को गति रखें!


अंतरिक्ष यात्री

मैं एक पत्नी की खोज कर रहा हूँ मेरी जिंदगी में जगह को भरने के. किसी को
मेरी जगत का हिस्सा. लगता है अवश्य है कि इस दुनिया से बाहर हैं!


और पिछले नहीं बल्कि कम से कम

मैं छपा है

चाहती थी एक स्त्री डब्ल्यूएचओ प्राप्त है
सफाई
धोने
सुखाने
पैकिंग
कर उपस्कर संभालना

Thursday, August 27, 2009

ळदूऊऊऊऊ शादी kaa ( ADVERTISEMENT FOR A MARRIAGE)

Some or all contents are copied from some where or other


THE NEED FOR WIFE
DESPERATELY SHUTS THE BRAIN
AND PEOPLE START TO THINK IN THE SAME MANNER WHICH THEY WORK


SO HOW WOULD PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT WORK CULTURE WILL SUM UP THEIR

ADVERTISEMENT FOR MARRIAGE


FISHERMAN

Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish.
Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.


SALESMAN

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine
article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is
now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses!
Has own house, car and successful career!


ECONOMIST

I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements
are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too
heavy a burden upon the national interest.

MATHEMATICIAN

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate
and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further
my family unit.



IT CONSULTANT

Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed
of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and
the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency.
Compatibility could be an issue.



BUSINESS MAN

Wife wanted for company.


POLITICIAN
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live,
to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences
and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to
share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the
social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society
(etc etc and never getting to the point) -----------AND HIS SPEECH CARRIES ON

CAR DEALER
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in
excellent working condition.


FARMER
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.


LAWYER
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the
post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should
be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with
evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be
willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e.
Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be
sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null
and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever.



PILOT

Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed
applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her
feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long
haul. She must be a hanger, where i should hand around, And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!


BANKER

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her
service.


SHAAYAR (POET)

Badi muddat ke baad ek arazoo jagi hai, Ke hum bhi shaadi
shooda ho jaaye, Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka.......... ..... joh
kurrey sarey sarey, Yeah mai butaatah hoon ....... Kyoon key yaroo
ub khud ghar keh kaam hotah nahee sarey sarey.


ACCOUNTANT

Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures.
She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very
nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as
possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit
to her family.


SHARABI (ALCOHOLIC)

Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks
factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends
come round. Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl
preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally in
a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.

MINICAB DRIVER

Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from
x-ud,erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not
necessary, but map reading skills are a bonus.


BEGGAR

Allah ke naam par koi ek biwi de de, Doosre ke nahi to apni
hi de de, Allah terah bhala kare, Tujhe ek ke badle do
de de !


BUILDER

Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be
homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.


DOCTOR

I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However
if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.


ARMY COMMANDO

My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful
applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who
dares wins. Camouflage provided.


RACE CAR DRIVER

A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be
able to keep pace!


ASTRONAUT

I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to
share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!


AND THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST

I HAVE PRINTED

WANTED A BRIDE WHO ENJOYS
CLEANING
WASHING
DRYING
PACKING
ABLE TO HANDLE LOGISTIC

Friday, August 14, 2009

CONVERSATION (TRANSLATED IN ENGLISH)

Me:- One Day i said come along with me
She:- No, no He (Husband) is coming to pick me up
Me:- Then he is taking you out back to home or for a Lunch
She:-Neh, no there is some work.
Me:-How silly, what a rubbish husband you’ve PET. That he never take you out for a Lunch or Dinner
She:-hahahahahaha..............I bring my lunch from his house only
Me:-Oh no You prepared, cooked, kept in the lunch box, carried all along to the office, and ate talking with your colleagues, right? Then tell me where That Duffer (Husband) is in the whole story?
She:-Do not talk rubbish or him (here she shows some affection and respect for her husband) otherwise i’ll hit you hard
Me:-I have not written any abusive word for him, by the way you already have knocked me out
She:- Come here ...............
Me:-No, look now if you’ll be angry with me then who is going to Buzzz (Chatting on internet) everyday; anyways this is rude, you are changing the course of our Conversation, you are trying to divert the topic, I was saying to your Man (husband) he should take you out for lunch & dinner; instead he only take you visit Holy divine places.
He should have had taken you out to Juhu & Chowpati (both places are beaches in Mumbai, India); a bit he would have given Bhelpuri, pawbhaji to you to eat, he should have taken for a joyride or a movie; he would had taken you to Delhi Haat ( a multicultural market in Delhi India)and let you eat some chaat and paani puri, golgaappe, He should have walked on beech holding your hand, and after some time, sit there and put some chocolates in your mouth, holding by his teeth, He should have went in a hill place and Scream your name "[ content & name suppressed in public demand]" and hear the echo of that scream
Did he did all this things?
I Know he has not, and i believe he will never
Whenever He felt like took you to a temple and Rang up the holy bell, as if he wants the god to see –look almighty, see i am doing my part of life to keep my wife happy, and i should keep her happy by taking her to different shrines and holy-divine places, what does he want to show? He does not know god is everywhere even in the sounds which come back as an echo near a hill, or in every grain of the sand lying beneath your feet while walking on a beech?
“THEN SHE SAID”
She:-Do everything with your would be wife, she will be happy, and now i am going He (husband) has come to pick me up
Me:-WAIT, Tell Him (her husband) that you want to have dinner out, then take you to Barista (a coffee shop) and you wanna have a cup of Tea, and mind it Tea means Tea, not coffee and Tomorrow I want to see scanned copy of the Bill for dinner and Tea.



NOTE: From that Day I am Just waiting for the scan copy
ITS JUST A HUMOUR SO PLEASE ENJOY AND GIVE YOUR REVIEW, (BHELPOORI, PAWBHAJI, CHAAT, GOLGAPPE ARE INDIAN FAST FOODS, SOLD ON SMALL MOVING CARTS AT MOST OF THE PLACES).

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

CONVERSATION

Ek din maine kaha , ki chalo mere saath

To inhone kaha ki nahi wo (husband) aayenge aur le jaayenge

Maine Kaha - aur ghar le jaayenge ki lunch pe

inhone kaha - nai nai..kuch kaam hai

Maine Kaha - kaisa bekaar husband paal ke rakha hai ki lunch pe bhi nai le jaata

inhone kaha - hahaa....unke ghar se hi to lunch laati hon...

Maine Kaha - are wo to aap ne banayee, pakayee, utha kar office layee aur khayee ismein wo mardoot kahan hai kahin

inhone kaha - aise mat bolo unke liye, maroongi varna (isko kehte hai pati prem)

Maine Kaha - koi kharab baat nahi likha hai , aise hi maar chuki ho

inhone kaha - yahan aao...

Maine Kaha - nahi kahin aap gussa hogayyee to mujhe phir koun ping karega roz, khair baat ko aapne track se change kar diya jo baat ho rahi thi ussse aapne divert kar diya, bol raha tha Aapke (inke husband) ko ki lunch aur dinner par le jaane ka kewal tirsth staan hi ghooomate rehte hai
Thoda, goa, juhu chowpaati bhi ghoomana tha na?
Thoda bhelpuri; pawbhaaji bhi khilana tha na?
Thoda joyride, movie bhi dikhlana tha na?
Delhi haat le jaa kar paani poori,golgappe aur chaat bhi khilaana tha Na?
Thoda beech par haanth pakad kar door tak chalna tha na?
Thodaapne daanton se pakad kar choclate ka tukda tumhare muh mein daalna tha na?, Thoda Ship mein chadh kar titanic ka pose bana kar photo kichwana tha na?
Thoda tumhare baalon mein har poornmaas ke din Gulab ka phool lagana tha na?
Thoda apne palkon ko beecha kar uspar tumko chalwana tha na?
Thoda jungle mein ja kar pedon ke peeche ghoom ghoom kar gaana gaana tha na?
Thoda Tumhari kumkum se apne sar par tilak lagana tha na?
Thoda Chaandni raat mein tumhari choodiyon ki khankhanahat ko sunnana tha na?
Thoda ghar ke gate se ghar ke ander tak tumhe apne goad mein utha kar ghar ke ander tak le jaana tha na?
Mehfil mein baith kar tumhare niye koi najm pesh karna tha na?


Thoda


Thoda apne haanthon se Sea beech par baith kar khaana khilana tha na?
Pahadon ke Waadiyon mein jaa kar poore dum se "(Name suppressed)" chilaana tha na?

Ye sab kiya unhone? Main jaanta hoon nahi kiya
JAB DEKHO TO JAA KAR MANDIR KA GHANTA BAJA DIYE
Tab
inhone kaha - tum yeh sab karna..apne hone wali wife ke saath, wo khush ho jaayengi, Aur ab main jaa rahi hoon wo (husband) aa gaye hain mujhe pick karne
Maine Kaha - wo (husband) usko bolna ki aaj dinner karna hai bahar, barista mein chai peeni hai, aur kal bill ka scan copy main dekhne ko maangta hai (barista mein coffee nahi chai peene ka)
To ab Scan copy ka intezaar hai bas
*its a juz humour juz enjoy*

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Lingua to be Franka

LE BALAIYA, ee ka hua? Kahe albalaye huye hain? Etna narbhasane se kuchchho nahin hoga (Omigosh, what's this? Why are you so flustered? Such nervousness won't help matters.) The inveterate linguist may scream at such an apparent contamination of Hindi language but the average Bihari simply loves to throw all narrow parameters of grammar to the winds. For them, the funnier they are, the better their adaptability is into their inimitable lingua franca.
Over the years, Biharis have invented a language, which has an unmistakable stamp of their own. In recent times, its popularity has traveled far and wide beyond the borders of the State and many screen heroes,including Amitabh Bachchan, have mouthed Bihari liches with characteristic elan -a far cry from the days when it was thought to be an infra dig of sorts for anybody other than country bumpkins and unscrupulous politicians to perpetrate such "verbal atrocities".

All that, however, is passe now. Bihari Boli is sweeter than honey now. Not only in Bollywood but also on the campuses of prestigious universities and IITs across the country. Words like harbaraye, garbaraye, bargalaye, thartharaye and dhanmanaye which would have sounded Greek to outsiders earlier are being used with gay abandon by the hep youngsters there. Sobriquets laced with double entendres like "garda", bawaal and dhuan denoting the varying degree of a girl's beauty and sex appeal can be heard not only in Patna University colleges but also far away Fergusson College in Pune. Moreover, a-go, dugo, teengo and chaartho type of numerology which was a matter of disdain not long ago is being accepted even by the stiff upper-lips without any qualms. So, notes sarka do (pass on the notes)","batti buta do (put out the lights)", Principal ko harka do (bamboozle the principal),burbak kahin ka (you stupid fellow!), hum to biga gaye(I was thrown out) and Hum to huan thebe kiye the (I was very much there) are some of the expressions which have conveniently made their way into the otherwise prim-and-propah St Stephens, New Delhi. Similarly, coinages like dhakiyaye (shoved), mukiyaye (punched), latiyaye(kicked) and matiyaye(forget it) are the current rage. Hiyan (here), huan (there), kahe (why),enne(this way) and onne (that way) are some of other typical words, which are spoken rather nonchalantly by so-called educated lot in the State. One, therefore, does not get surprised if one hears tanikke for little, nimman for good, anhar for darkness and ejot for lights. For them, colloquial language need not be tied to any narrow rules. E topicwa par maatha khapane se kuchchho nahi hoga (nothing is to come out of this topic), as one wit commented. Among many characteristics of this language are its terms fendearment. Seldom does one hear people on the streets calling each other by their real names. Raju automatically becomes Rajua, Pappu turns into Pappua,Rajesh into Rajeshwa and Shatrughna at best Satrohna.

This potpourri of all Bihari dialects has also coined new terms for human anatomy which would baffle an FRCP if he were to land here straight from Edinburgh. Here gor means legs, moori is substitute to head, ongree is equivalent to finger, thor denotes lips and kapar is synonymous with forehead. This language also has more onomatopoeic words than probably any other. Words like tapak se, gapak se, and japak se can be understood by Listening to their phonetical sounds. No longer is Bihari language associated with a few howlers like eskool (school)", teeshan (station) and singal (signal) only. There are certain words which carry the precise meaning but which cannot be properly substituted by any word in other languages. Machchar bhambhor liya is probably is one such example. Bhambhorna is a super word, which means the collective assault of mosquitoes to "bhambhor" you. But then, one might argue, where else do you find so many mosquitoes to bhambhor you. Right from Laloo Prasad Yadav, who emerges as the best speaker of his ghar ki boli to Shekhar Suman, everybody loves to flaunt his native command of the language. Earlier, Biharis were notorious for atrocious gender sense and shoddy pronunciation. Now, the same traits have become the tour de force of their conversation. The time has certainly come to raise ekadhgo (one or two) toast to the longevity of the Bihari language. "Teengo

Monday, June 1, 2009

Mona the dearest sisters of all our friends

It Was a surprise news for me today and just now about the sudden demise of mona




Sister of my dear Friend Manish Shanker Verma

we loved her

we love her

We will keep loving her


U'll always be there with us Mona


and we will miss you always

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Things are not working perfect these days as its said nobody is perfect so its like that, in last 2 days both my mobiles said me Bye, and asked me to buy a new one, so spending more bucks on the most wicked gadget ever discovered in the universe


And i would write for the lady whom i loved the most but did'nt tried to marry

I always needed time on my ownI never thought I'd need you there when I cry, And the days feel like years when I'm alone, And the bed where you lie is made up on your side, When you walk away I count the steps that you take, Do you see how much I need you right now?, When you're gone. The pieces of my heart are missing you, When you're gone. The face I came to know is missing too, And when you're gone. The words I need to hear, To always get me through the day and make it okay. I miss you I've never felt this way before, Everything that I do reminds me of you, And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor, And they smell just like you. I love the things that you do. When you walk away I count the steps that you take. Do you see how much I need you right now? When you're gone, The pieces of my heart are missing you, When you're gone. The face I came to know is missing too, And when you're gone.

I miss you all my time
Hi All

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Anand Kashyap